American Cliches

All I knew about the US I knew from the TV, meaning many cliches. I guess not all of them are true, but see what I found.
1. Americans are extremely cautious when they take responsibility for something. Well it might be that somebody takes them to court for their own stupidness:
  • So we witnessed a flight attendant who explained the emergency exit only under constant agreement of the passengers sitting next to it. The explanation for life vests even included the rip open of the plastic bag wrapping.
  • Warnings in the shuttle busses included the indication to hold the rail because the bus is going to move now.
  • Remember the „caution the coffee is hot“ warning? I don’t know why but coffee in the US is so fucking hot that you get burns when spilling it over your self. No clue what they do to their coffees here, but it’s even too hot for me.
2. Boys play baseball and girls become cheerleader (confirmed even for the age of seven in Miami suburbs).
3. Americans are crazy about weapons. Within one day you meet at least one  guy with a weapon on his belt strolling through a supermarket. And yes Walmart sells shotguns.
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4. Americans fry everything. Even though we didn’t found any fried Mars bars as in NewZealand I still consider the choice of fried food quite huge compared to the german market.
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5. Americans can’t drive and don’t know about traffic rules and how can blame them. Streets are huge and generally empty. Every crossing is equipped with a traffic light or a stop sign at every corner. But why they were unable to overtake our trailer on an empty road remains a riddle to us.
6. In SF many Hipsters proved Bart Simpsons way of transportation to be just as common as riding a bike in Copenhagen.
7. Kinder surprise eggs are supposed to be banned from the US (combining toys and chocolate is supposed to be more life threatening than guns) and you can get a several thousand dollar fine when importing it, anyway we found them in a small kiosks in SF and NYC anyway.
8. Drive In’s are a typical American thing. We even found Drive In’s for ATM’s, Libraries and Starbucks.
9. What I did not know but soon had to learn is that camping is huge in America. As soon as there is a weekend, holiday or retirement people head out with tents, in Pickups or Campervans (here known as RVs – recreation vehicles). And yes of course there are also the people constantly living in RVs in the middle of nowhere surrounded by desert (especially polygamic mormons).
10. A pro pro did you ever heard the term „recreation“? I didn’t, but it is so frequently used with everything with outdoor that I couldn’t come around it. So camper vans become recreation vehicles, campgrounds recreation areas, the most popular outdoor shop is called „Recreation equipment incorporation“, mountain biking or climbing recreation sports and however that fits in marihuana a recreational drug.

11. Who doesn’t remember the documentation „Supersize me“, where Morgan Spurlock overfeeds himself on some fast food we all know. It doesn’t exist anymore. The fast food branch reconsidered it’s menu a bit after the documentation caused something of a discussion of the effect of fast food on human health. But this doesn’t mean that food industry in general followed this example giving us some entertaining and memorable moments in US supermarkets.

Don't want to know which size of bowl goes with these cereals.

Don’t want to know which size of bowl goes with these cereals.

Special breed for the US market?

Special breed for the US market?

Lost in the streets of the Big Apple

Our arrival in NewYork City was let’s say a little rough. The plane landed 21:48 and by the time we arrived in south Brooklyn (you can go from Laguardia by public transport for 2.75$ it just takes a while) it was 0:30. Knocking on the door of our AirBnB resulted in: nothing. The phone of the landlord was switched of and of course he neither responded to messages. What the …

My landing in NYC was one of the greatest, giving a view over the enlightened skyline.

My landing in NYC was one of the greatest, giving a view over the enlightened skyline.

Luckily AirBnB is very cooperative, they got in touch with the landlord and refunded us the stay in a hotel for this night. Our landlord got in touch the next day and we were actually able (after some more waiting in front of the door) to move into our room. Small, a little dirty but cheap … You get what you pay for. After this was settled we headed for the city and got out some memories in Chinatown over a Chinese lunch (Chinese food is still the best we had anywhere.). We strolled through SoHo which we found beautiful green around Washington Square with Cafés and Delis all over and then finally made our way to a huge outlet mall in NewJersey (far to late we only had 2.5h for shopping) to get some long missed fabric: jeans!
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Even the parks around Chinatown looked like chinese parks with many chinese playing cards and chinese cheese. Only the naked bellies were missing.

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The so typical view in the streets of the Big Apple of cross-over streets and avenues and the never missing fire escape.

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Not only Chinese are playing cheese in parks. It’s a very common picture at Washington square along with lunch eating business men and screaming kindergarten kids.

We spend the next days taking the subway everywhere (7 days unlimited metro card worth every penny), strolling through narrow streets of unbelievable high skyscrapers (their name is actually originating from ships masts.), drinking expensive cocktails on rooftop bars (Thanks Dan!), seeing all the important landmarks (that are mainly huge buildings), running through the Central Park, visiting Toms first boss who’s apartment has the greatest view over NewYork City (because it’s in NewJersey), taking a little night cruise (very entertaining and recommendable), and simply enjoying ourselves in the crazy but lovable atmosphere of the city.
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Finally the original Wallstreet that gave it’s name to the natural landmarks we found and climbed in Utah.

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Even though I didn’t expected it old architecture coexists in Manhattan with newly build office buildings.

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A bit like the little mermaid in Copenhagen the statue of liberty looks a lot smaller than you expect. And yes according to Wikipedia the statue itself is only 46 m heigh (What did I expect?).

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This beautiful roof top terrace has some special summer refresher. Champagne cooled down with what I would consider a frozen smoothie. Yum.

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But it’s not just the drinks, also the street food scene is delicious and a lot more relaxing than I expected NYC to be (Just getting aware off that I had a lot of prejudges about NYC. Dammit TV.).

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NYC in contrast is, what you expect: pretty crowded …

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… and pretty hectic (except tourists taking pictures).

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If you ever wondered why M&M’s only produces two kinds of M&M’s go to the store in NYC. They produce a broad variety including dark chocolate, almonds, crunch, peanut butter, Minis, Megas … they just don’t sell them in Germany.

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Is it just me or are there some similarities?

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If you want a closer look, but don’t pre-booked a tour several weeks in advance, I recommend the evening cruise around Manhattan. Giving you a close look at the staue of liberty …

... Manhattan ...

… Manhattan …

... and it's important landmarks, like the Brooklyn Bridge.

… and it’s important landmarks, like the Brooklyn Bridge.

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If you want to see the time square in it’s brightest beauty come here after sunset. Not that the luminous advertising is switched off during the day.

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Tom enjoying the view off … well I guess not NewYork City.

In many ways NYC reminds me of Berlin. It has it’s specific neighborhoods: the shopping areas, the family places, and the streets were hipsters hang out in Cafés. Even the subways are kind of similar: a little dirty and noisy, just the NewYorker one is cooled down to winter temperatures (never leave the house without a jumper, when you plan to take the subway). I have to say we really enjoyed NewYork and could easily have spend a few more weeks here, but since our flight was Berlin bound it was actually not to bad to say good bye.
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Bye bye NewYork.

Bye bye world, hallelujah Berlin.

A boat trip on lake Powell or how to die in the Utah desert

In the 1950’s somebody had the great idea to build the Glen Canyon dam and collect thousands of cubic meters of water rushing in from the the Colorado River into the Glen Canyon. It took 11 years to fill the Glen Canyon to it’s high water mark (the white colouring of the red sandstone walls that you see on the pictures) now being one of the most outstanding landmarks at the boarder between Utah and Arizona.

It's a crazy landscape. 300 feet water below and 300 sandstone above.

It’s a crazy landscape. 300 feet water below and 300 sandstone above. Dead tree trunks testify that this wasn’t always the case.

Tom decided to trade floating in a boat for some solitude time in the Rocky Mountains. Santos had to work. So with tents, bathing suits, a cooler filled with wine and beer and two bags of snacks Jen and me boarded Nicks Pickup and we were on our way to lake Powell in south Utah. I got a warning that we will travel with dogs, which however didn’t prepare me for Nikita, Sage, and Patina which were going to be a quite entertaining part of the trip. The three dogs were in the bigger end of the scale and very skilled in taking up every space you would allow them, resulting in a car ride were I frequently had a dog head or ass in my lap (not to talk about old Nikita’s gas problems).

Traveling with three dogs in a Pickup is surely one of my more unusual experiences.

Traveling with three dogs in a Pickup is surely one of my more rare experiences.

We arrived after a five hours drive. When all our stuff was stored on the very spacey pontoon boat we headed out to find a camping spot. We found a flat beach in iceberg canyon which should become a quite significant choice during the coming days.
Nothing looking like icebergs in Iceberg Canyon - yet.

Nothing looking like icebergs in Iceberg Canyon – yet.

As Nick stated the dam was on of the greatest idiocies done in south Utah but it led to some of the most outstanding landscapes. 500-600 feet canyons of red sandstones are filled halfway with greenish blue water mesmerizing you while cruising through the narrow channels. If you are tired of cruising you can stop and climb up a wall of sandstone, hike into the dry ends if canyons, check out alcoves and arches, soak in the warm water or just hang out on the boat and enjoy your drink.
This is a very different way of enjoying great landscape compared to our usual hiking trips.

This is a very different way of enjoying great landscape compared to our usual hiking trips.

Our neighbours were even more professional in using existing circumstances for recreation.

Our neighbours were even more professional in using existing circumstances for recreation.

But I find to use rubber duck as floating devices for cocktails pretty great too.

But I find to use rubber duck as floating devices for cocktails pretty great too.

We managed to spent approximately 1.5 days with these very common activities while the other 2.5 days were dominated by trying to survive a little hurricane passing by lake Powell. Luckily Nick and Audra just got what we would call a glass house for their boat, so we could sit in the relatively safety and dryness watching the rain, the occurrence of waterfalls, and flash floods passing by.
At the evening if our second day just after we arrived back from a little kayak exploration the wind picked up dramatically, flipping over cooking tables, playing sail with the boat enclosure and flattening out our tents. Everything was over in about half an hour leaving a soaked Jen (trying to keep frying pans from flying away), one broken and several bend tent poles.

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Enjoying the sunny morning paddling and hiking flooded canyon arms …

... Sage liking of my sun cream ...

… Sage liking of my sun cream …

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… before the first storm and heavy rain …

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… forced us to to enjoy Nick’s and Audra’s new boat enclosure.

After the rain comes the sun and in a canyon: waterfalls. So we went hunting waterfalls by boat. This one was my favourite.

But after the rain comes the sun and in a canyon: waterfalls. So we went hunting waterfalls by boat. This one was my favourite.

And there is one more thing that I don't want to detain from. The first floating toilet that I ever saw in my life. Dammit smart.

So much running water, sometimes also reminds us of our needs. In that case just go for the floating toilet.

 The next day the mayor storm was supposed to be hit us so we used the sunny morning hours to hike up iceberg canyon exploring the huge cathedral alcove at its end. As we were to turn around we saw the black wall of clouds approach us and decided it might be a good idea to head back to the boat. It wasn’t just a good but the wisest decision.
You don't feel especially safe seeing this wall coming while hiking in a canyon.

You don’t feel especially safe seeing this wall coming while hiking in a canyon.

Securely equipped with drinks and food we watched the heavy rain starting off waterfalls around us until the rain turned to hail, the falls started draining enormous amounts of water and a flash flood of hail and wood rushed down the canyon that we just hiked. I didn’t really know what was going on but the three freaked out Americans indicated that this was an once in a life time and pretty dangerous experience. Nick shot some movies that even made it to the news. Thank god we picked a beach that hold up to the flood and the boat was properly secured so we watched the „show“ from with a relative comfort. Even the tents survived without any further damage.

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Ready for the show equipped with drinks and snacks. 

It's not about the tent but the drainage flushing into the canyon behind it.

It’s not about the tent but the drainage flushing into the canyon behind it.

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And the Iceberg Canyon changed into a a river of gooseberry big hail living up to it’s name.

When the flood finally slowed down we found our selves locked in the canyon by a feet high layer of hail bergs, so the rest of the day was spent hanging out on the boat and resuming what just happened. The irony of floating hail bergs around our camp was that the ice in our cooler melted rapidly and we were afraid the food would spoil, so we used the „good“ fortune to fill them with hail.
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Our way out was completely blocked by hail leaving us wondering with happened to the rest of lake Powell.

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Our neighbour tried to get through as well, but in the end spend 1 h in his boat waiting for the hail to melt a little just to come back to his camp. Shovelling his way out with a wake board was rather unsuccessful.

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Some freezing bags and a little hail worked wonder keeping our food and drinks cold.

Already the same evening conditions improved and the next day we could paddle our way out of wooden debris and cruise the canyons. But not enough with near death experience. Nick sent us climbing up a waterfall (after swimming through debris and foam of degrading organic material). We failed just about (getting cold in a pool at the feet of the waterfall we were not able the climb the fragile ladder of old rope). When we came back, our way was blocked by several screaming teenage girls so the best choice seemed to jump of the tiny cliff directly into the water in front of the boat. Audra cleared out the debris (Jen refused to jump on the floating cactus.) and I worked up all my courage and jumped. Cold and dripping back on the boat Audra pointed out an also very wet but very angry rattlesnake that hide under all the debris in the water making our hearts drop for a second (in worst circumstances the bit of a rattlesnake can be deadly).
So for the moment we were done with hiking around in water and longed for the comfort of a warm beach, which we should get and enjoy. After some more hiking in the evening we picked up one of Nicks friend who was hiking through the desert in these events and long and eventful day came to its end.
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Good that we had a net and a rake. The engine didn’t really liked the debris.

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My first time trying to climb a waterfall. I wasn’t quite aware off, that I would climb in the waterfall, when Nick proposed it.

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But being back in the sun it was warm enough again for the pool noodles.

First from above the real dimensions of this place become clear.

First from above the real dimensions of this place become clear.

The next day we packed up, cleaned up and started the long journey back to SLC.

But don't forget, no trip to Lake Powell is complete without a swim in Lake Powell.

But don’t forget, no trip to Lake Powell is complete without a swim in Lake Powell.

The south Utah road trip in a blue elephant boot

PSSST. Jen made me promise never ever to tell anybody about Utah. They don’t want to share it with the typical US tourist. So if anybody asks you: it wasn’t me who told you.

After consulting the lonely planet and talking to Jen and Santos it became clear that we wont be able to explore Utah without one of the most American cliches: our own car. So we rented the cheapest tiny car we could find for 330$ for two weeks. Far too small for the American standards it could anyway fit our backpacks a 6 gallon water jug (23l), a cooling box (many thanks to Jen and Santos) and food for several days. And off we went south.

Just big enough for two germans and a sheep, but it's off road abilities could be improved.

Just big enough for two germans and a sheep, but it’s off road abilities could be improved.

The first six days we spend near Moab (Utahs outdoor hub) and the Arches National Park. The area is almost exclusively shaped from water biting its way through red sandstone resulting in deep canyons carrying sand loaded water framed by red cliffs, caves supposedly containing a caveman, stretches of never ending red walls, and the so famous spikes and arches. One of them even being Utahs emblem. I think it’s not overstated to say that it’s a huge playground for grown up outdoories. There are lots of camping grounds, hiking, mountain biking, horseback riding, 4WD, and ATV trails, climbing routes, skydiving, motorboat driving, kayaking, stand up paddling and whatever else you can imagine doing outdoors (BBQing, beer drinking, recreating).

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Red sandstone stretches as far as your vision allows to distinguish from red sanddunes.

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We visited south Utah in the beginning of May and found it to be surprisingly green and in this case yellow. Most of southern Utah is desert and only with a little luck and a wet spring you are able to see it flowering.

We spend two days hiking around holes in stones without having even seen 1% of the arches that are sprinkled over Arches National Park. Once an enormous field of sandstone was elevated and bend by an agglomeration of salt. Consequently the sandstone broke into slices which was the basis of forming arches by the continuous erosion by water and ice. It’s surely not the only place where you find natural arches but one with a pretty high density.

Delicate Arch - the most famous arch in the US and Utah's emblem.

Delicate Arch – the most famous arch in the US and Utah’s emblem. Just between the two of us, this arch is so delicate that it need support from a metal frame, which can’t be seen from this perspective.

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Double arch

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Landscape Arch

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Double O Arch

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Navajo Arch

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Partition Arch

Misused Arch - you are not allowed to walk over or even club an Arch.

Misused Arch – you are not allowed to walk over or even club an Arch.

As rough and hard as sandstone.

As rough and hard as sandstone.

And of course where there are stones a phallus isn't far (remember Chile?) even though they call this one the "black angel".

And of course where there are stones a phallus isn’t far (remember Chile?) even though they call this one the „black angel“.

We were then joined by Santos and his friend who really put an effort into keeping our adrenalin level up. Santos a climber himself offered to do some climbs with us, which especially Tom accepted with great excitement. Something he always wanted to try. I willingly tried a climb at the so called Wallstreet (a road with a wall of red stone to one side).

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Just a little equipment for just a few meter up the wallstreet.

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Looking pretty easy to climb a 2 cm broad slot, well?

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Looking not quite …

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… as graceful.

When I saw where Santos planned to take us the next day my adventure limit was passed. I know to much about climbing to ignore the risks of going up a very slim spike 200 m above ground, Tom doesn’t, so of course he went. I enjoyed the view of the red towers and a slightly frightened Tom from the safety of the ground. If you would like to get a more lively impression I got a link for you here. But don’t be over impressed these are not Tom and Santos, but two professionals.
When I saw the goal of today it was pretty clear to me that I wouldn't go up there.

When I saw the goal of today it was pretty clear to me that I wouldn’t go up there.

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After about three hours Tom finally (though a little shaky) stand up on the Ancient Art.

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One day later. But who is climbing with shorts and a beanie?

On our last day with Santos „a half day“ iSUP (inflatable stand up paddling) trip on the Colorado river kept us busy the whole day (a friend of Santos owned the company organizing tours). These paddle boards are pretty stable but the water on Colorado river has somewhat white water so I ended up in the water 4 times (I estimate Tom went in at least 10 times). It was pretty fun, but next time I will bring a wet suit (I was wet to the bone and freezing in the shadow of the deep canyon). The two had to head home the same day and we headed for laundry before crawling exhausted into our sleeping bags.

iSUPs ready to go for the next day. When I was falling into the river after one minute on the iSUP, I was happy I didn't brought any device to take pictures onto the river.

iSUPs ready to go for the next day. When I was falling into the river after one minute on the iSUP, I was happy I didn’t brought any device to take pictures onto the river.

The next day teached us what US distances mean. Despite the fact Escalante looked close on the map we spent half a day in the car getting there only to find out that the road we planned to take might be a piece of cake for a pickup but far to much for our little blue baby. We turned around after 10 miles of shaking gravel road and decided to drive to Bryce Canyon first thing the next morning (it should turn out to be the perfect decision).
Distances get a different dimension in this vast country.

Distances get a different dimension in this vast country.

Bryce Canyon is most famous for its hoodoos (Tom thinks it’s a reference to hoodie) and we understood why, when we arrived. I guess most of Utah’s beauty is about sandstone but these are special in the sense that one of its layers is especially hard preventing the layers underneath from eroding. The resulting formations indeed remember of deformed pillars with a hoodie of stone. And as typical for the US you don’t just find one but uncountable numbers in colors ranging from white to yellow to pink to red. One (with some imagination) even looks like a statue of Queen Victoria.
What ever we did, I got the impression all dimensions are scaled by a factor of ten in the US.

What ever we did, I got the impression all dimensions are scaled by a factor of ten in the US.

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Solo standing hoodoo’s were the exception in Bryce national park.

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Erosions reach sometimes so deep, that we already visited the second „Wallstreet“ in the US without having been to NewYork City.

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And well, if stone reaches deep dimensions tree simply counter act.

A hot shower and a night’s sleep later we headed of to our last destination. Zion National Park, where we planned to do some more backpacking (overnight hiking). Well, you know the story: hiking, camping, hiking, camping …
For a long time, this was our first hiking trip without cold feet.

For a long time, this was our first hiking trip without cold feet.

The landscape reminded us a lot of Yosemite, washed stones cut by canyons and sprinkled with trees with a few but distinct differences: the stones were mainly red sand stone, it was soaring hot up to 35°C, and black flies (biting flies) were hunting us the whole day making every break a pain. However, there were two more highlights waiting for us at the end if this trip:
1. Angles landing a rocky ridge dropping down on both sides as two vertical walls and supposedly so high that only angles could land there. Today a path equipped with metal chains lead up to the beautiful view over Zion Canyon, but after a 14 mile hike I wished I had wings to fly up there like an angel.
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I wasn’t really aware of what I was buying into, when I agreed to climb up Angels landing.

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Tom climbing a bit higher than his guardian can fly (my opinion).

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The view into Zion Canyon is most impressive at sunrise or sunset (as usual). By the way according to the Mormons „Zion“ in general names a place where the righteous can escape all badness of this world. Well. They not just renamed this Place that was inhabited since thousands of years by native americans, but simultaneously gave all peaks names of mormon saints.

2. We returned to the valley the same evening and were really lucky to get a camp site and Tom a hitched ride back to the car which was on the other side of the park.  Therefore, we were able to hike into the far end of Zion Canyon the so called „Narrows“ the next day. The name says it all, the canyon is a few meter wide slot between two steep walls of sandstone, the virgin river flowing to their feet. Don’t believe that you will have dry feets hiking here, we spend roughly 90% of the time wading through up to hip high water (from the point of swimming we turned around). Luckily it was a  hot summer day making the shadowy wet canyons a real comfort zone.
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Every kind of human excretion has to be buried 100 feet from any water source. not easy to find a spot in a place like this.

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But it’s such an incredible place to hike. And if you are uncomfortable it is possible to rent water tight shoes in the visitor center.

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If there is any kind of rain forecasted DON’T go in here. There is absolutely no escape in case of a flash flood.

Unbelievably two weeks of road trip were already over and we had to head back to SLC to return the car and prepare for our next adventures.

Salt Lake City – Mountains and Mormons

Do you remember Jen and Santos from Mongolia? We did. They and their pictures of Utah were the crucial cause for us to visit their home state. They live in Salt Lake City (SLC) and because the Amtrak train from San Francisco stops there it was the obvious transportation vehicle of choice. With a tiny three hours delay (trains in the US are comparable cheap, the staff is incredible friendly, seats are spacey and comfortable, but they are so SLOW!) we arrived for sunrise in SLC. The first thing you recognize stepping out into this city are the mountains all over the horizon. Located in a valley in the Wasatch Mountains it makes nearly everybody we met here a outdoorsy: hiking, climbing, and skiing. I tried to run up a mountain but gave up due to its steepness and several scratches.

You are surrounded by Mountains. Probably one or the reason why SLC once hosted the winter Olympics. By the way the Utah licence plate that also the greatest snow can be found in this state.

You are surrounded by Mountains. Probably one or the reason why SLC once hosted the winter Olympics. By the way the Utah licence plate that also the greatest snow can be found in this state.

The other for us mainly funny and interesting fact is that a significant portion of Utah’s and thereby also SLC citizens are Mormons (SLC is said to be 50% mormonic. For a view of a real mormonic city you have to go to the close by Provo). Ever heard of that term? I didn’t. Actual it is currently the most growing religion and officially called „Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints“ (LDS) founded in NewYork in the 1820’s. They believe in the book of the angel Mormoni found by Joseph Smith (A well known scammer of it’s time. Coincidence that one of the biggest supermarket branches in Utah is called Smith’s?) It tells the somehow crude story of the origin Mormons that seems hard to believe for a scientist, but hey the bible is as hard to believe for me too.
Most huge public buildings will have a golden Mormoni at their top, play the trumpet.

Most huge public buildings will have a golden Mormoni at their top, play the trumpet. So does the city hall in SLC.

In my opinion the most distinct features of Mormons are their very happy nature, helpfulness, abstinence from alcohol and coffee (?????), absolute obedience, paying 10% of their income to the church and many many children. I guess, if you can live with the last four it’s not the worst religion.
However there are still some fundamentalistic groups that root in the LDS. They still live polygamy after the old revelation of John Smith (who was what we call a philanderer). We saw a few of them that even dress like actors from „Our little Farm“ on our later road trip through Utah. If you want to know more about Mormons in general and Fundamentalist in specifically you can read the book from John Krakauer „Under the banner of heaven“ or look out for some mormon missionaries. If you ever see guys in white, short sleeved shirts with a tie and a name tag in your city they are with a 99% probability mormon missionaries trying to convert you.
So based on this background the biggest sight in SLC is the temple square home to the huge LDS temple (By the way there are two in Germany too. One in Freiberg – Saxony and one in Frankfurt – Hessen, if you are tempted.). We went there to just have a look around and … well … open our horizon. The missionaries in the visitor center speak literally every language so we chatted a little with a nice girl from Switzerland how she became one of them. In the end she recommended us to go over to the cinema to watch the movie „Meet a Mormon“. As naive as we were, we went over assuming a 20 min show as in a visitor center in a national park. Stupid, stupid, stupid. We were welcomed by two sisters, who advised us to keep a close eye on, how jesus changed the live of of the six mormons and to think about how jesus touches our life. In the end of the movie more sisters will wait for us to talk about our experiences … and than the electric doors slammed shut. There was no escape from nearly two hours of brainwashing. We should have known this …
… but I can tell you, you don’t have to become a mormon to appreciate the values that they try to sell you. Taking care of yourself, your family and society is nothing Mormons invented and I am still a convinced atheist.
In the end we had some really nice days in SLC hanging out in the kitchen with Jen, Santos and their housemates (Thanks to all of you!), soaking in the SPA high up in the mountains, drinking great beer in Park City and preparing for our road trip into red sandstone.

How to get not eaten by a bear.

In the US lives a species that you usually don’t find anywhere close to the civilised Europe – bears. They inhabit almost all places the Americans call backcountry, except the deserts, and these are the places we love to go to for hiking. As a proper german (who freaks out around a wild boar) I had no clue how to behave in a way that would leave me with all my limbs after a trip to Yosemite. So I made a little research that I would like to share with you.

1. There are two kinds of bears found in the american woods. Black bears and Grizzlies (north american brown bear) (Yoggi bear in Yellowstone National Park is a Grizzly). Whatever you do, you wouldn’t like to meet a Grizzly. They are far more aggressive combined with a very strong jaw. According to Wikipedia it was estimated that the bite of a Grizzly can crush a bowling ball. Luckily there are only black bears in Yosemite. Here you can find a nice map of the bear distribution in the US.

2. Usually bears stay away from humans and only attack them, when they were surprised at close distance. So don’t surprise them. Meaning make as much noise as possible while hiking through bear land. Well they suggest to talk – not easy, when you are not a talkative person. Or sing a song – not easy either for 10-12 hours a day. Or put some bells on your shoes – somehow reminded me of a fashion trend when I was 15. We just kept crushing through the woods as clumsy as we could.

3. The bears don’t prey on us but on our delicious food. I can very well understand them, but the issues is they are dammit smart. They can even spot a bag of sweets in a car and force their way to get it. Humans in contrast are so stupid. Their was once a bear entering a family camping in Yosemite indulging in all the food on the table. Because the parents of a little girl found it so cute, they put honey on their daughters fingers for the bear to lick of. Unfortunately the bear misunderstood and bit the whole hand off the little girl. Guess who was punished for that? The only proper way is to store your food unreachable for bears: hung up in the trees or in safe canisters (cars are not safe!) and better check whether the snickers is still in your pocket, otherwise you might get an overnight guest in your tent.

Backpack fitting bear canisters. They are round so bears can't carry them away ;).

Backpack fitting bear canisters. They are round so bears can’t carry them away ;). And you need a coin to open them, something bears don’t usually carry around.

4. So what, if a bear indeed attacks you? Then you better now, whether it is a black bear or a grizzly. Because the black bear can climb trees, the grizzly can’t. Running is no option in either case, both are a lot faster than you are. The most obvious feature to distinguish the shoulder hump on the grizzly’s back. By the way, black bears are not always black but come in all shades of brown to black. The general recommendation how to handle the appearance of a bear that I found is a six step procedure:

  • Make your self as big as you can. Holding up your arms and hiking poles. Stand your ground, but don’t go closer. If you do that anyway, I would let it count as natural selection.
  • Make a lot of noise, e.g. strike your hiking poles together and scream at the bear „GO AWAY!“. I am not sure, but most likely the bear understands english.
  • If its not leaving start throwing stones at it. But be careful, they can get upset, if you hit them.
  • If the bear still comes closer, because it is obviously interested in the snickers bar in your right hand. Step back and give up on the bar.
  • So the bear is not interested in the bar, but sees you as a threat the needs to be eliminated and attacks you. Well if it is a grizzly, you might get away by climbing on a tree (I did not see many suitable ones in Yosemite). If it is a black bear it can climb, but usually will be satisfied believing your a dead. So put you hands above your neck and play „dead man“.
  • And now comes the one I like the best: If despite all improbability the bear starts eating you, fight with whatever you have and hope for the best.
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I am pretty sure that thats the print of a black bear. (There are not supposed to be any grizzlies in Yosemite .)

But if we look at it from a broader perspective the likeliness that you get killed by a bear in the US (0.5 incidents per year) versus that you get murdered is insignificant.

Yosemite (not dschosemeit but josimiti)

The Sierra Nevada is a 400 mi long and a up to 80 mi broad granite block mainly located in California. Some of its most astonishing features lay in the Yosemite National Park along it’s 800 mi of hiking paths. So of course Yosemite was a magnet for us.

The visitor center gives a little impression of what you by into, if you decide to hike in the Sierra Nevada - countless steep accents.

The visitor center gives a little impression of what you by into, if you decide to hike in the Sierra Nevada – countless steep accents.

Glacier shaped granit stretches out before your eyes for miles and miles in Yosemite and you are allowed to hike every single one of them.

Glacier shaped granit stretches out before your eyes for miles and miles in Yosemite and you are allowed to hike every single one of them.

After six hours by bus and train (for a distance that you cover by car in 2 h) we arrived at the visitor center in Yosemite village (more an enormous camp ground than a village). Loaded with our hiking gear and food for seven days but otherwise completely unprepared we were standing there a little confused. The first sign wasn’t promising: campgrounds full! The very friendly and very gay ranger behind the desk sent me off to the wilderness office the second I asked for the wilderness permit and a bear canister. Against all hopes, here the also very friendly ranger provided everything: a wilderness permit including a permit to climb the halfdome (otherwise only given out by lottery and hard to get hands on), actually two bear canisters and the permit to sleep on the backpackers campground the first night. Fully equipped we headed for the backpackers campground to arrange all our food, toiletries and some of the pharmacy stuff (everything that gives of a scent) into our 10l bear canisters to find out, it won’t fit. So either bear canisters are not designed for a week hiking our we are simply eating to much (I guess the later).

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Slightly overfilled bear canister. We squeezed it shut and ate the leftovers.

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Bear canister inside my backpack. You just have to squeeze the rest of the equipment all around it.

The next evening after a beautiful but strenuous 3000 feet (yes we are in the US) ascent into Yosemite highlands with many day hikers we (actually Tom) found a cozy campground at the base of the North Dome overlooking the color changing Half Dome (exaggerated coloured as the background picture of the current MacOS software „Yosemite“) in sunset. When we finished the last pack of Asia noodles and it was getting dark we tried to pack our bear canisters again and only with a lot of good will and squeezing we could fit everything into them. And because we are little paranoid germans we jumped through the woods in or pyjamas to hide the canisters 100 m from the tent (The ranger told us to just through it a few yards away into the trees, but we didn’t found this sufficient.).

Little Halfdome in fading twilight. Familiar?

Little Halfdome in fading twilight. Familiar?

So even though we were already in the highlands the next day made us climb at least another 3000 feet in tough endless woods up to little lake May. There were two distinct features in these woods that made me wonder. Countless dead trees were blocking our path, as if some strange disease is killing them off (We later found out that the cause is a combination of drought weakened trees and very hungry douglas-fir tussock moth caterpillars). And then we crawled over increasing numbers if snow patches, leaving me with the fear of a cold night. I should be proven right, when we ended up in bed before 8 pm due to the freezing winds.
Lake May at the following starlit night (Tom toke the picture, I would never have left the tent at these temperatures.)

Lake May at the following starlit night (Tom toke the picture, I would never have left the tent at these temperatures.) And yes thats snow in the lower left corner.

The weird thing was, the warmer the day, the wetter the socks.

The weird thing was, the warmer the day, the wetter the socks.

We survived the second night without being eaten by a bear which caused for Tom doubts of their existence. Surely enough we were finding bear prints several times during the day leaving no doubt and a certain respect while packing our stuff up for the night. We finally left the big ascents behind and walked through leveled woods along impressive waterfalls and golden canyons. At a point we met the pacific crest trail (2500 mi from the Mexican to the Canadian boarder) and even a guy who already walked the 900 mi to here.
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This dammit bear print was fresh, but to Toms disappointment we never met it’s owner.

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White water rushing through a golden canyon before falling a thousand feet deep.

Our (my) coffee stock was running low and hopes were getting high, when we approached  Toulumne Meadows the next day. Our map stated the presence of a shop and a visitor center. But at the beginning of May the road was nearly closed, the shop was still a half destructed barack, but the visitor center containing to rather unfriendly ranger was open so at least we could charge one phone before heading back to the wilderness. Since we had to get over the no camping zone (which we unknowingly violated the night before) we had another 7 mile hike to cathedral lake. It turned out to be a beautiful spot to camp for the night but the wind was unusually chilly and campfires prohibited.
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Low season colours the highland meadows in a vivid khaki brown.

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Setting up our home for one night at Cathedral lake got a cold venture after sunset.

The chill that froze our tent at night continued the whole next day. So though the highland meadows are amazing we kept our breaks pretty short. The original plan was to hike up Clouds Rest (roughly 3300 m) continue to the Quarter Dome and camp somewhere up there. But wearing three layers, gloves and beanies at the foot of Clouds Rest, we continued into the direction of Yosemite Valley. Literally from the frying pan into the fire we found ourself in burned woods for miles. A thunderstorm (as claimed by the park rangers or a careless camper as told by the gossip) did a good job here and we ended up setting up the tent in ashes of burned trees. But at least we had a nice view (very important to Tom).

The white patches reminded us again and again, why we were the only hiker in this amazing place.

The white patches reminded us again and again, why we were the only hiker in this amazing place.

The burned land, definitely has it's one beauty, but finding the path in the soft ashes wasn't always easy.

The burned land, definitely has it’s one beauty, but finding the path in the soft ashes wasn’t always easy.

And though burned the land is not death and gives space for new life. Next to the strange fungus why met hundreds of hungry ants on our campground.

Although burned, the land is not death and gives space for new life. Next to the strange fungus why met hundreds of hungry ants on our campground.

I don't know a single place in Europe, where you get a view like this, while laying in your tent and even be the only person in this spot.

I don’t know a single place in Europe, where you get a view like this, while laying in your tent and even be the only person in this spot.

The next morning we were woken by a funny sound on our tent. A bit like rain but not exactly. A peer out revealed: snow! We had expected everything but not snow. The sad thing about it wasn’t actually the snow but the clouds bringing it. It wrapped the trail in fog making a climb to the top of half dome impossible (we turned around 300 m before the top, when we absolutely failed to make out the trail). So all we could do was to climb the 4000 feet down into Yosemite Valley, get a coffee to warm us up again, buy a toothbrush and wine and get a shower and laundry.
The beginning of 10 cm fresh snow going to fall during the day.

The beginning of 10 cm fresh snow going to fall during the day.

Can you make out the Halfdome behind this white wall?

Can you make out the Halfdome behind this white wall?

I still believe that we made a wise decision. The hiker we met this day turned around the next day (on the second day of his 29 day trip), because he couldn’t find the path in 30 cm fresh snow.

By the way, the richest wildlife the we observe in Yosemite Valley. Pizza stealing squirrels, deeply relaxed deers, hungry wildcats and through the campsite strolling bears (actually we only heard the story from three days before).

By the way, the richest wildlife did we observe in Yosemite Valley. Pizza stealing squirrels, deeply relaxed deers, hungry wildcats and through the campsite strolling bears (actually we only heard the story from three days before).

Losses of the trip:

1. 3 kg each due to a pretty high energy consumption (should make trips like that into a new diet approach).
2. One pair of hiking socks forgotten at May lake.
3. One toothbrush fallen from a pocket at Cathedral lake.
4. One water filter frozen to death at Cathedral lake.

Springtime in Frisco

From what ever angle you look at it, this city is beautiful.

The very broad perspective showing all the exhausting hills.

The very broad perspective showing all the exhausting hills.

Located close to the Pacific Ocean a chill wind constantly blowed around our noses while walking around downtown. Coloured wooden houses are distributed over hills that make your calfs burn. Parks, beaches and a seaside promenade cover the coastline.

Looking great from the distant until you try to climb it.

Looking great from the distant until you try to climb it.

We spent a good week in the city and by the end it got really stressful to finish off all the points on our to-do list.  We strolled through San Franciscos neighbourhoods and tried to find old foody memories in Chinatown (the rice noodle soup was even better than the one in Guillin but also several times more expensive). But the little israelian restaurant and the legendary In N‘ Out Burger (They have exactly three items on the menu: Hamburger, Cheeseburger and fries.) were really good too.

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The steepest street in the city can only be used in one direction and id mostly by tourists.

We run over the Golden Gate Bridge (the amount of cars, their smog and noise really make this a once in a lifetime expirience).
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This suspension bridge is several km long and a really good place for whale watching too.

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Wonder whether the decision to paint the bridge red had something to do with the fact that the rust is less visible.

And than we got ourselves a city pass including:
1. a 7 days unlimited public transport (we never used it for the cable car though included, because we wouldn’t want to wast our time queuing up for it)
You have to be patient to be transported slow.

You have to be patient to be transported slow.

2. the San Francisco Aquarium,
It's strange that I find them disgusting while being in the water but astonishing in an aquarium.

It’s strange that I find them disgusting while being in the water but astonishing in an aquarium.

3.  Alcatraz

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Did you know, that Alcatraz has been a prison museum longer than it has been an actual prison?

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And being one of the most famous attractions of San Francisco it attracts quite some spectators. But hey we didn’t had to book it weeks in advance.

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Cosy, isn’t it?

4. the California science institute
Who is looking at who?

Who is looking at who?

5. the Exploratorium
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Here we learned, how to get slim fast …

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… how to take pictures of a falling water drop …

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… how to discolour jelly bellies …

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… and how to build illusions.

But one thing: watch out for San Francisco’s Wildlife. We were nearly crushed by a squirrel falling from a tree in Golden Gate Park, very hungry eyed by the enormous sea gulls, and amused for hours by the elephant seal colony at Pier 39.
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„Wasn’t me that just tried to steal your bread.“

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They really mad a to of space for their elephant seals, but if they are not currently pushing each other from the platforms, they love to cuddle together.

A mini road trip in a mini trailer

After our great experience with translocation cars in NewZealand and because Tom couldn’t stop thinking about how great it would be to drive over the bad, unbelievable straight and never ending roads of the US (You see, I was bored and couldn’t read, because Tom needed entertainment, because he was bored too.), we rented a small translocation trailer for five days to go from Las Vegas to San Francisco.

Our tiny 'recreation vehicle' measured only 25 feet (around 8 m).

Our tiny ‚recreation vehicle‘ measured only 25 feet (around 8 m).

When we arrived at the rental we realized McDonalds meals are not the only supersized items in the US. Our trailer was a little house on wheels, with a bed room, bathroom, shower, kitchen, fridge and even a sofa :). on our first day we didn’t came very far and therefore decided to stay in a little town very typical on a Walmart parking ground. Walmart allows campers to stay overnight on their parking ground. Its a quite noisy and not very privat place to spend the night but a good spot to buy dinner and breakfast supplies.

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May I show you our living room. The dinning area is to the left and our recreation area to the right.

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Tom taking a picture of the bath room, while standing in the shower (The water was hot!).

Because it was more or less on the way, we went through the lowest and hottest place in the US: Death Valley. Actually Death Valley is not just a very hot valley (and it is hot even in April). It is a valley located in the biggest national park of the US, where you can visit canyons, colored mountains and sand dunes. You can spent days in the park exploring all the hidden natural wonders, but because we only had a few hours and a vehicle unsuitable for the rough gravel roads we just visited the most popular ones: bad water, artist drive and the golden canyon.

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The hottest point of the US is covered in salt and cryptobiotic soil (ancient slow growing black bacteria).

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The golden sand dunes go on for miles before turning into massive red sandstone walls.

And then because we still had a far way to go we drove until bed time, found a hidden spot with other trailers (driving trailers seems to be a popular sport in the US), took a shower ;), and fell into bed.
The next day led us through the beautiful mountains of the sequoia national forest dotted with trees and wind power wheels, criss crossed with ATV tracks and the Pacific Crest trail. We rolled through more hills covered in wine and signs offering wine tastings to every side that leveled off to a coastline covered in lion seals and before we could turn around we found ourselves on the scenic part of highway no. 1 with mountains to one side and cliffs to the other. The overnight parking was prohibited over the next 72 miles and we had a time and mood that did not allow for driving into the night again. After half the way we found a tiny gas station and shop very the nice lady behind the counter told us that we will find a road 7 miles from here where we can stop overnight in one of the many shoulders. So we did not got only a parking spot for free but even one with view over the ocean.

There were a few elephant seals on this beach. Humans were not allowed there.

There were a few elephant seals on this beach. Humans were not allowed there.

Our last day in the RV (recreation vehicle) we spent mostly out of the RV hiking the beautiful hills along Highway number one, before we had to go on the hunt for a parking lot for the night again. We found it down a road to a beach but sadly it was not only already getting dark but also cloudy.

It's a really really beautiful highway. Just the cliffs are a tiny bit scary.

It’s a really really beautiful highway. Just the cliffs are a tiny bit scary.

Our last day ended in a little rush. We needed some breakfast, a dumping station for the waste water (ALWAYS the black water first) and to fill up the petrol (can get a bit more time intensive to find a cheap station but it’s worth since the RV was very very thirsty and prices varied by 50ct per gallon (roughly 3.8l)). Against all odds we managed to hand our little car back by 10:55 before heading of to beautiful San Francisco.

24 h Las Vegas

Being in the US for 24h made again one thing very clear: it’s going to be an expensive chunk of fun, so we better started thinking value.

Living next to the "old" Vegas seemed to be extremely cheap. Only 17$ for a nice Hotel room until we learned about the resort fee that comes on top of the room price ;(.

Living next to the „old“ Vegas seemed to be extremely cheap. Only 17$ for a nice Hotel room until we learned about the resort fee that comes on top of the room price ;(.

From the point of food this meant for Las Vegas skipping breakfast and opting for one of the many buffets in the big Hotels. This doesn’t mean it’s cheap. We paid 28$ each but got an enormous choice of salads, vegetables, fish, meat, asian food, seafood, deserts, cake and ice creme, even including water, coke and coffee. We managed to eat the total of three plates and a bit more of cake on top. So an approximate amount of 2000 kcal and left very happy and very full.
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I am not a big fan of food pictures, but I couldn't deprive you of the cause of Tom's little sphericity.

I am not a big fan of food pictures, but I couldn’t deprive you of the cause of Tom’s little sphericity.

From there we started strolling down the strip, meaning through the collection of enormous luxury hotels and casinos. The casinos are basically pretty much the same but each of the hotel environment feature some other kind of attraction. Eiffel towers, impressive decoration of flowers or glass, a huge chocolate fountain, an erupting volcano, venetian channels or a romain colloseum everything spiced up with people strolling around enjoying themselfs, gambling and openly drinking in the streets.

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The flower decorations in the Wynn Hotel.

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How needs to go to Italy, if you can go to the Venetian Hotel.

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Guess what you will find in the Hotel Flamingo.

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And Hotel Paris really put some effort into it’s advertisement.

In my opinion Caesars Place has the nicest Casino environment.

In my opinion Caesars Place has the nicest Casino environment.

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but my absolute favourite was the Bellagio (some might know it from the movie Oceans Twelve). Not because of it’s legendary fountain, that was quite disappointing, but because of it’s no matched beautiful interior and it’s chocolate fountain.

When we after hours returned to our hotel, to drop the bags before heading to the casino ourself we just wanted to lay down for a second. We woke up the next morning without having put our fingers on a single game.

And just to make it clear, we neither lacked the alcohol or opportunity, but we did not marry.

And just to make it clear, we neither lacked the alcohol nor opportunity, but we did not marry.

Already on the next day we were leaving this big party location, but first we had to pick up our transportation vehicle on the other side of Las Vegas. While walking there we observed how this place would look, if not enormous amounts of water would be pumped into this artificial assembling of buildings. Very sad, very dry, very abandoned (the only people living here in cheap motels were kind of crazy).

A 'normal' street in Vegas literally and really leading no where.

A ’normal‘ street in Vegas literally and really leading no where.